There’s this other thing I’ve been doing. I actually started a few months after my mom died. Well, I supposed I started the day after my mom died. It was on that day that my sister and an uncle made me go through my mom’s closet and get rid of all of her personal effects. Clothes, toiletries, medical stuff that was around the house, it all got bagged up and hauled over to the Humane Society Thrift Shop. Well, some the medical stuff was donate to hospice or a nursing home, but the point was that it didn’t stay here and I had to start immediately. I’ve talked to a few people that didn’t start immediately after a loved ones death, and well, they never started.
My sister and uncle didn’t insist that I keep going, just that I start. So, I started. After they left, I finished clearing out mom’s room. I pulled everything out and got rid of a good chunk of her bedroom furniture (none of it was family furniture). Then, I went on vacation. It was a preplanned trip, and I decided that mom would kick my ass if I didn’t go just because she had died. Plus, I was going to one of her favorite parts of the country. I had a fun trip, but it was hard because she was supposed to have gone with me. When I got back, I was a bit of a depressed bum for a few months, but eventually I had to make the house mine. So, I started decluttering again.
I have often thought that it would have been easier if I hadn’t inherited the house. If I had to prep the house for sale, I wouldn’t have time to analyze mom’s things. I’d have to make a decision to keep something or get rid of it quickly. I’ve heard of this process of handling your items and if they don’t bring joy to you, get rid of it. It comes from a minimalism movement that I don’t know the name of. I’m not very sentiment when it comes to my own things. I find memories more in my head, or heart, rather than objects. I have had a little stumbling block about this when it comes to my mothers things. Why did she keep such-and-such item? Where did she get it? Is there a story there?
The reduction of stuff in MY house bought on some other changes in Casa O’Neill. Namely, the amount of stuff that was being recycled. Everything that has left the house has either gone to a new home or it went to the Humane Society Thrift Shop (mom’s preferred local charity). Very rarely have I just thrown things away. I have sold a few things. But mostly, I’ve given my mom’s things to people that needed them or would bring them joy. This was the state of mind I was in when I stumbled across the first video I saw about products that lie about being cruelty free. Currently, I think I’m doing better with the cruelty free than the decluttering. But, I’ve got a new job, slowly increasing hours, a bunch of distracting interests, and a bazillion books to read. I am working on it, just, slowly. I’m okay with that.